Impostor Syndrome And The Fear Of Being Seen

Impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or impostor experience, is a common psychological phenomenon in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and feel like frauds, despite evidence to the contrary. When we have this kind of experience, we may feel like we have “fooled” others into thinking that we are more competent and capable than we really are – or than we feel we are.

Feeling like a fraud or an impostor is often connected to the ways in which we feel about ourselves. It can be the source of high levels of stress and anxiety, and the cause and effect of self-doubt and low self-worth.

This process can be understood as a manifestation of underlying emotional conflicts and insecurities. Unconscious thoughts, feelings, motivations, and wishes play a significant role in shaping our behavior and experiences. Some of this sense of inadequacy and self-doubt may stem from early childhood experiences.

For example, we may have internalized explicit or implicit messages from our caregivers, loaded with criticism, judgment, or comparisons to others, leading to a lack of self-esteem and a fear of being judged or rejected. Or we may have grown up in an environment that failed to recognize and meet our needs, leading us to the unconscious conclusion that our needs and who we are, are not worth paying attention to.

As a result, we might create or attach to narratives about ourselves, which, in adulthood, manifest in various ways, such as a fear of failure or a tendency to undermine our own accomplishments. This might lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, avoidance, or perfectionism, all of which are efforts -conscious or not- to avoid being exposed as a fraud.

In addition to the impact of our earlier experiences, we cannot minimize the effect of systemic forces on our sense of self, agency, and adequacy. Whether it is experiences of oppression and inequality we need to overcome or impossible productivity expectations we need meet, our relationship with the sociocultural environment also engenders feelings of inadequacy and overcompensation.

More than self-doubt

“Impostor syndrome” is not simply another term for self-doubt or insecurity, but a complex internal experience that may have deep roots. One of the central elements of this phenomenon is the fear and anxiety of being exposed. “If someone really saw me for who I am, they would see how bad I am and how I don’t know what I’m doing,” we might tell ourselves. Another key aspect is the belief that we have managed to deceive others, which leads to anxiety, and sometimes shame, about being judged, rejected, unwanted, or abandoned.

We all strive to be seen, heard, and recognized for who we are by others. However, in impostor syndrome “being seen” is experienced as being exposed. What would be a reassuring and self-affirming experience, becomes a source of fear and anxiety. The fear of being seen in this way is sometimes connected to a fundamental mistrust about whether others will accept us for who we are.

When we feel under the oppressive need to put a façade of competence, show others that we have our life together, we might end up distancing ourselves from our needs, wishes, desires, and contradictions. One of the most challenging effects of this experience is when we distance ourselves from what makes us human.

How Can Anxiety Therapy Help?

As is the case with other forms of anxiety, therapy can help you with more than “anxiety management” to curb the impact of unwanted thoughts and feelings. Anxiety treatment that is deeper in nature, like psychodynamic therapy for anxiety, can help you understand unconscious, developmental, and systemic factors that underlie impostor experiences. Gaining emotional insight into the motivations, conflicts, and patterns is a key way in which anxiety therapy can help you find different ways to disentangle the layers of impostor syndrome and strengthen your sense of self. If this is something you would like to discuss or want to start therapy for anxiety and impostor syndrome, please contact us to schedule an appointment with one of our Chicago therapists.

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Photo credit: enyin akyurt